hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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