I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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