my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
