I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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