she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
