Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
