Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize