What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
