It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
