I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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