normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's blow job season.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
