Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
