my soul wont recognize me after tonight
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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