And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
