Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
