Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
