Don't you send me to vm
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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