I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
