is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
