I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
