I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We had sex on a dog bed..
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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