someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Someone shattered a urinal.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
