At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
