uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
