you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
