My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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