So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
