we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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