Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
