isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
