Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
