that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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