Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You can't motorboat a personality
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
