I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Someone shit on the floor
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
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