I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
