'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I cut my penus on the lid.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
