would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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