some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
