You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
