Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize