If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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