So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
