you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
