omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
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