she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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