Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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