You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
