i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
