I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Randomize
