I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Still dying that you shit outside
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
