i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
