May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just want nice things and good sex
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
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