you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
How external is "for external use only"?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
