dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize