She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
