Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize