Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Hippo gnu deer
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
