I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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