Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
