I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
