okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize