Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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