i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize