worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
