I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
do nipples grow back?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
