I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
