just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
