Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
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