You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
