he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
