dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
