Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
