I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
why didn't you poke me back
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize