It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you will always have a special place in my vag
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
