I'm gonna have a badass scar
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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